Little Jackal Trap

Deliberately allocating time, we address profound emotional distress by discussing, seeking counseling, and undergoing therapy, reflecting upon and assimilating the resulting impact. We “reposition” ourselves and re-evaluate our present stance in life (i.e. calibrate our GPS) to purposefully adapt, tweak or change our beliefs, attitudes and habits to deal with the residue of the trauma that we have experienced. Thus, we purposefully confront, deal with, accept and come to terms with what has happened effectively… well… at least most of the time.

Unfortunately, life is full of little irritations and we experience plenty of the so-called “insignificant frustrations” daily. The prolonged stresses that consistently result from the little jackals of life, frequently have a much more profound impact on our psyche, than the one or two actual traumatic events in our lives.

Most professionals and many people are often up and arms about this statement. The reason why a traumatic event is called traumatic is that it leaves deep emotional scars that can take years – even decades – to heal and return life to “normal” again. Of course, this is true… and isn’t disputed at all, BUT this isn’t the actual culprit or menace, especially when it comes to our daily emotional well-being. The real culprit that weakens and drains our emotional energy, is the many little jackals that we are confronted with daily. Leaving us with very little or no energy in reserve to productively deal with the really dramatic events in our lives.

Daily travelling as a comparative example…

We waste much of our precious fuels (i.e. energies) to diddle mindlessly through life daily (without regularly refuelling) and when the time comes and we are suddenly forced to unexpectedly travel a considerable distance… we only have enough fuel left to cover some of the required distance and get stuck or we are unable to move an inch. To prevent this from happening to us, the solution – indeed – is very simple… regularly refuel your car frequently and maintain a level of preparedness (i.e. being proactive) so that you have enough resources (i.e. energy) at your disposal to use when the – proverbial – paw-paw hits the fan.

Sadly, we are conditioned and collectively believe that we only need to pay attention to major disruptive events in our lives and we are taught to use some kind of a stress barometer, which measures and ranks the severity of events. Collectively it was decided, what the critical stress level should be and only those events above a certain “critical stress level” are worthy of our attention. Those events below the level, we tend to ignore and hope that they will ultimately shrivel up and disappear in due time. Using a Stress Barometer isn’t such a bad thing in itself – in fact – it is quite a helpful tool, which allows us to prioritize and deal with life’s many ups and downs more constructively and productively.

On the other hand, most of the little jackals of life are well below the critical stress level and we tend to “ignore” or “suppress” their existence. It happens mainly because these events are “insignificant” and don’t warrant that we fuss about them… not for too long anyway. But, as possible stressors, they do not disappear altogether. They gradually increment in little bits of suppressed stress that act as a kind of “pressure cooker” storage (i.e. our limbic system) and when the heat of stress is suddenly turned up, it is most likely that we can expect an uncontrollable “eruption” of emotions and feelings… and losing it altogether.

Something to consider…

We can safely assume that all the energies at our everyday disposal can be expressed as 100% at any given time. Let’s assume – for argument’s sake – that you require ±20% of your daily energies to keep your bio-computer running smoothly (i.e. your breathing, digestion, heartbeat, …etc.). Furthermore -let’s assume – that you regularly experience heavy traffic on your way to and from work, which accounts for another ±10% of energy usage per day… twice a day and it leaves a stress residue of ±1% per day… after a relaxed and peaceful 8 hours of sleep. This “ignored” stress residue gradually accumulates to a ±20% daily energy usage over – for example – a month. In other words, you eventually need ±20% of your daily energies, just to “cope” with your suppressed stress residue.

Suddenly, your suspicions of the past couple of months materialize; and you lose your well-paid job, because of a BEE initiative, accompanied by an unexpected loss of 90% of your income. You – now – immediately require at least 85% of your energies to cope with this traumatic event. Sadly though, you only have 60% of your daily energies left at your disposal for dealing with the crisis and you are still short another 25%. As a result of bio-computer “maintenance” (20%) and already “build up traffic stress residue” (another 20%). Sadly, we cannot borrow energy on credit, nor store it in “batteries”… we can only “consume” energy that is currently at our disposal.

Due to a bio-computer malfunction (a result of accumulated stress residue) you suddenly need 125% of your daily energy quota but are only able to generate 100% energy. The best short-term solution is to momentarily re-channel (i.e. shift) the “additionally” required 25% energy from a less critical energy cycle (e.g. the immune system) to aid us in our hour of need.

When this “energy shortage” – as described in very simplistic terms – happens once in a blue moon, no harm is done. We are more than adequately equipped to deal with it elegantly. However, when this “energy shortage” occurs frequently over a prolonged period (e.g. 20 to 30 years)… something has to give in the end. If that happens, our options are frequently limited to physical burnout, a mental meltdown and/or spiritual collapse.

In the context of the above explanation, it – hopefully – is understandable why the “Little Jackal Trap” is far more damaging to our overall well-being, than a specific dramatic or traumatic event that only occurs once or twice in our lives. We are conditioned to deal with “serious events”, while simultaneously we tend to “ignore” the many petty frustrations of life that accompany change.

What we must realize, is that – quite often – we can do very little about dramatic or traumatic life events that we are confronted with (life is a b&%$h!); but we can do a lot about the little irritations and frustrations of life, providing we are aware of them and willing to act in time… and SMART-ly.

Proactive stress management strategies for our overall well-being aren’t to plan and prepare for a possible crisis (an unstable situation of extreme danger or difficulty), because we – might suspect – but we cannot predict what will happen, when, where and how… that is why it is being called a crisis in the first place. Therefore, following a proactive stress management strategy implies that we should consistently get rid of the Little Jackals in our lives and, in doing so, free up most of our energy resources to successfully confront and productively deal with a crisis when it happens.

Still not convinced?…

Do the following simple experiment yourself…

Slightly rub your left hand with your right hand. Not painful, frustrating or irritating. NOW… you continue with this subtle movement for the next 10 days. What is happening to your levels of irritation? Frustration and stress?… how well will you be able to emotionally take care of everyday responsibilities, let alone deal with a crisis? YES, little jackals do accumulate and can be a real disruptive stressor in the end with a “life of its own”.

How can we possibly deal with the “Little Jackal Trap” effectively?… simple, by frequently applying the Glass Principle, adopting and deliberately integrating a “10-90% Principle attitude” for our daily living and remaining keenly aware of the Butterfly Effect.