GPS

The unproductive side of the GPS ”coin”, is ego-based and fear-driven. Thus, a melancholy-dominated temperament.

This belief upholds the view that the world is a place full of judgment, hostility and separation. Voided from forgiveness and union. Having this belief of separation, we regard ourselves as set against or conflicting with everything in our world. When our philosophy of life originates from and is strengthened by this belief. It is only logical that we would build “strong” and impenetrable psyche walls. Develop elaborate mind defences and purposefully establish ways to protect ourselves from a ruthless, cruel, brutal, merciless and antagonistic world.

This belief results in an action model that constantly analyses every person and situation in microscopic detail. And when doing so, exclusively rely on past experiences for reliable and unmistakable facts. And thus ignore the power of now, seizing the moment and the situational context. This analysis and reasoning are used to assume, judge, categorize, make sweeping statements, stereotype and label. This initiates a get all you can – as quickly as you can – attitude because there just ain’t enough for everybody. As a result, we ferociously attack anything that might threaten our getting something that we consider as rightfully ours.

To feel good about ourselves, we need to be perfect all of the time. This is a belief that produces a mindset of ‘I must be right every time, all the time‘. Anything other than being right, results in a self-destructive and guilt-shame-fear cycle. Our self-esteem is irrationally based upon a belief of always being perfectly right in what we think, reason about and do.

This is a point of view by which a victim’s attitude is sustained and strengthened. When we believe that we are alone in this world and there is not enough to share, it makes sense to lash out and defend ourselves against those whom we think could harm us. Each time we attack another, it increases our perceptions of being in constant danger and we require more defences. So the attack-defence cycle continues until such a day that we are drained of all our energies, power and vitality. We become physically, mentally and spiritually exhausted (i.e. burned out).

This accumulates in constant worrying as a result of perceived circumstances – sourcing from past appraisals – that there is no such thing as a safe and secure future. We feel guilty about our past actions, are ashamed of our current behaviour and fear that what we regard as important and valuable, won’t be there tomorrow. These thoughts and subsequent actions, tend to snowball. It starts slow, innocent enough and over time – gathers momentum – and becomes so demanding, that we “simply cannot live” without having a certain substance, possession or person in our lives. As this snowball gets bigger and more powerful, it develops a mind of its own, it distorts our perceptions, warps our ideas, clouds our views, bamboozles our thoughts and – eventually – we completely lose our foothold in and control of our lives.

This is an extension of the preceding beliefs. A certainty that we have done some horrible things in the past, which are so bad that we feel guilty. This keeps us in constant shame, curbs our self-worth and leaves us vulnerable to the whims of countless forces that we have no control over.

Founded on the belief that we should swiftly judge and harshly punish ourselves for every little mistake we make. This, in combination with a belief of “my way, is the only way”, causes inevitable inner conflicts. Which, in turn, leaves very little room for self-growth and the realization of our true potential gets derailed.

This is the main way in which a victimized-addictive mind remains firmly intact. Our ego creates an acute state of fear that keeps us from questioning the illusionary foundation on which fear stands.

This belief lies at the core of the blaming game. This is the prevailing belief that peace of mind occurs only through luck or the roll of the dice and isn’t a choice we make. This results in a conviction that when we are lucky we will be happy and bad situations leave us with no other choice than to be unhappy. This belief is typified by a constant reasoning of “only if such-and-such were different, I could have been happy”.

Constantly comparing ourselves with others and opening ourselves to the comparison trap, which essentially only distinguishes people as being either superior or inferior. This approach to life, relationships and interactions effectively prevents us from cooperation and co-creative behaviours or actions.

A belief that we need something or someone else to be whole compels us to compulsively seek happiness in possessions, substances and other people. This prevents us from experiencing true intimacy because the relationship is mainly founded on filling lacks, wants and needs. This is a common denominator of the current rat race. A race that forces us to chase one mirage after another, to find only hourglass-sand in our desperate attempts to be happy and fulfilled. 

This belief normally causes an endless cycle of catch-22 incidents. In our futile quest to please divine forces, superior powers and trendsetting individuals, we abandon who we are and lose our sense of self. In part, this gives rise to codependency, which results in inner disagreements between being a “people pleaser” or merely “an act of compassionate kindness”.

The eventual answer depends on our intentions, ethics and expectations. When doing something for someone out of compassion and with a sense of wholeness, it is an act of kindness. Conversely, when we please others as a way to feel good about ourselves, this will lead us to feelings of inadequacy, frustration and despair. Thus, it is not the act that determines whether we behave in a codependent manner, it is the motivation, WILL, attitude and beliefs underpinning such an act.

A belief that often leads us to compulsively and relentlessly try to control everything and anything around us. When we cling to this belief, we are tense, stressed and in constant fear of losing control. And we see others – especially family members – as an extension of ourselves.

When a child – for example – misbehaves or a spouse acts in bad taste, we take it personally. We want to make sure that people – for whom we care – meet certain standards. However, such standards are rarely consistently met, and so embarrassment, guilt, shame and fear also become our constant companions.

This results in fleeting moments of contentment because when things are going as planned or expected, it is merely a matter of time before somebody does something that points out that we cannot control others. To compensate for this lack of control, we either become preoccupied with our achievements or more desperate attempts to control others in various ways.

The productive side of the GPS ”coin”, is unity-based and driven by courage. Thus, a happiness-dominated temperament.

There is an underlying unity to everything in life and one lacks nothing to be content, happy and whole… RIGHT NOW! A realization, that what we see in the world around us, is our own state of mind reflected outward. We are always looking at the world through the lenses of our views, opinions, thoughts, values and beliefs. Determining how we see other people, experience events and interpret events. We also recognize that we are not detached from one another, but connected by a golden thread of compassion. This implies that we are whole and without lack, which allows us to turn to the love within, instead of manipulating others to obtain inner peace.

This is a belief to lay down our defences and adopt an attitude of acceptance. Contrary to what the ego constantly tells us, defences will not make us feel more secure. It will merely increase our feelings of separation, isolation and fear. It is virtually impossible to feel secure when we build psychic walls behind which we could hide and attack others. Our vulnerability is more of an asset and strength than a sign of weakness. Truly accepting who and what we are, is what genuinely brings us peace of mind.

We are all born into this world completely worthwhile, lovable, without shame or guilt and trusting the cycle of life. It is our responsibility to get in touch with the essence of who we are, the essence of our being. Unfortunately, most of us grew up indoctrinated to believe that imperfection signifies that we have failed miserably. When our self-worth is based on a “perfect score”, we invariably will end up feeling inadequate and the misconception that performance and self-worth are one and the same thing. With such a belief determining our attitude, we either become overachievers (trying to appease and impress the powers at be) or underachievers (it’s no use anyway, no matter what I do, I will never be good enough). We must realize and invariably affirm, that we are always lovable… no matter what!

Albert Einstein once noted, that if the human race is to survive modern technology, our thinking as a species must change drastically. This is equally true for relationships, interpersonally, locally, nationally and internationally.

The world today seems to support a collective consciousness that bullying, defence and attack are legitimate means to ensure our safety and security. When we want to experience real safety and authentic security, we must change our way of thinking. We should begin to accept, forgive and be grateful, rather than occupying our everyday thoughts with defence, attack and retaliation. Forgiveness is the subtle shift which gradually allows us to recognize and respond to commonalities, instead of emphasizing and reacting to differences.

It is all about embracing the power of now and seizing the moment, opening the door to love and compassion, and – simultaneously – shutting the door to judgment, fears and worries. Refocusing our awareness and attention on the now, what is important and relieves us from acute stresses which are caused by a preoccupation with the past and attempts to predict what the future might hold.

This implies that we should often pay careful attention to our thoughts that either should be tweaked, adjusted or changed. In doing so, we can spend our efforts, time and energies cooperating and co-creating, instead of complaining, judging, finding fault, criticizing, blaming and being afraid.

This is in direct contrast to the notion that people learn the best by telling them what NOT TO DO and by experiencing pain, either physically, mentally or emotionally. It is more effective to recognize their efforts and assist them to accept and take responsibility for their actions. And to sensibly guide them to correct the mistakes that they have made.

Through love, compassion and forgiveness, we realize that world views are largely based on inherent faulty beliefs, illusions and delusions. Compassion has no enemy, nor a fear of being destroyed and there is no longer a need for defence or attack.

We give up the blaming game, we decide upon the goals that we would like to achieve and take responsibility for our own actions. We also accept our answerability towards others. I determine how I feel, and my feelings are no longer dictated by others or things that happen to me.

This equation is straightforward (i.e. KISS), to have peace… give peace. To know compassion… offer compassion. Contentment and peace of mind are found through sharing and joining, NOT selfishness, separation and isolation.

When we truly believe this, all forms of seeking happiness outside of ourselves cease to continue. Upon realizing that we already have what we are looking for, we feel whole again, relieved and also a little amused by our silliness to seek “outside” peace of mind.

We cannot genuinely love and accept other people without loving and accepting ourselves first, PERIOD!

This belief simply states clearly that we understand what powers we have and what powers we don’t have. This doesn’t mean that we should not say how we feel and speak out against cruel, violent and oppressive behaviour. It simply means that we influence the thoughts and actions of others by setting an example. An example of gratitude, compassion, understanding, forgiveness and acceptance.